Naked...

For the last 20 yrs,I have been watchin love movies for god knows how many! I had been livin in a dream that one day my prince charmin will come and rescue me.Yet many yrs had passed me by...still no sign of the rite one.I started to wonder...where is he?

'I want love' ,said I

but u know wot...eventhough i said that i wanted to be in love and be with somebody...
i was no difference than a runaway bride...why??
cuz i was afraid,afraid of getting hurt or gave my heart away.
Thats why i had never let my guard down.

'Love is misery,Love is blind,love is not meant for ur star sign,love is not for u...you r too young...etc.' thats what ppl kept tellin me.
They made their points clear and often enough that those words seemed real to me.

Then on 2nd of April,there i was in NZ.On Tuesday,there he was....

He who I d never thought would be my guide,my star,my heart and most of all,my evrythin.
He who makes me feel that it s alrite just to love and be loved
He who has taught me how to love and made me become less selfish when it comes to relationship.

Soon i realised..."i am rest at home"...Thats what u r to me.

Baby I gotta admit that i was really bad with my previous relationships.I had never compromise.If my partners' desire at that time didnt match mine.I just walked away but not anymore...
I ve begun to change,for the better like you always say.
I let u in and this time i stay.
Yes,this time i decided to stay n deal with it not juz walk away.

Thank 'You' my love for showin me this wonderful chapter of life,one of the great that ppl can find....
Its trust,honesty,love and patient..
God!what great values of life!

Before i met u,as u know,I am from a broken home family.Thats why i have this wall in my heart.If it was other guy,they would give up...but not u....u stick around...besides me.
Well,baby i must say u got easily rite thru me.
Dont know how,dont know why.
I guess all it took was u simply bein u!!!
I think growin up as a broken home child has caused me fear.
By this point u probably understand why i was so afraid,insecure or love watchin chic movies..cuz of the fact that i want my love life to be really good and wont hav the same endin as my parents.Thats what holds me back from takin a step...not becos i dont want love but its becos i want it so much.
Watchin a movie is easy for me...imaginin that i will hav the same happy endin...
Well,i dont know whether i ll get that for me.
What i do know is that u have changed me to become more brave, less fear.
However,I am still the girl i used to be and i hope that its alrite to tell u that ...
as a result,i fear that one day i might lose u...
I fear of not knowin.
I fear that the fortune teller will be right...then...
What would left of me?
These are the questions that lie deep down inside of me.
I learnt one thing....fall in or out of love is the same.how come???
well,either way u end up havin that person in ur head all the time.
Now I'm 'in' love,hopefully n cross my fingers that i wont hav to fall out of 'this' love.
Baby,I really want us to work...difficult as it may seem...i hope we try.
I wish i had all the answers to make this rite or the rite ingredients but the truth is ...
I dont...anyway i really hope u 'd stand by me and figure it out together esp when things are rough for us.I hope that u will stand with and for me and prayin that u 'd rather fight with me than movin on to sb new.
I have no clue where my future s goin to take me....i hope there will forever be you and me.

I wish i wouldnt have to write down my next thoughts but u can never be too careful...
I just wanna say this in case someday am too proud to say it...wot i want u to know is that if one day we realise that we are not meant to be.
Honey,at least we try.
Just keep in mind that i truly,deeply love u with all my heart and that my feelings for u is real.Moreover,i wanna say sorry if i ever cause u pain.darlin,pls know that its not my intention and Thank you the big guy above for everythin esp for bringin u into my life.
For better or for worse,i love u my dear...bottome line is Thank you for lovin me now i have found my home and thank you for bein so generous and puttin up with my lame,borin love movies.
You are my everything...and if u look close enough u ll find that ur heartbeat has changed!?!
Listen carefully my sunshine,you ll hear mine rite next to urs.I love you my sweetpie.

Urs,
B.

ps forgive me for my eng grammar...i know its gettin worse

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